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Monster Media 1996 #14
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Monster Media No. 14 (April 1996) (Monster Media, Inc.).ISO
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letman04.zip
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TT0815.95
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1995-08-18
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802b
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30 lines
TOP TEN ANNA NICOLE SMITH DATING TIPS
10. Forget the personal ads -- try the intensive care unit
9. Wear something that, even to his failing eyes, will look
slutty
8. Always carry some "mad money" for the paramedics
7. Make sure the valet parkers understand, if he dies in the
restaurant, you get the car
6. When he wants sex, hide his glasses and put him in bed with
a car battery
5. Remind him, "Hey, when you're 160, I'll be 101"
4. Prepare candlelit dinner. If he can blow out candle, you
don't want him
3. To convincingly fake excitement during sex, just think about
his stock portfolio
2. Good pick-up line: "Can I pre-chew that for you?"
1. Three words: bring extra plasma
Letterman, Tuesday, August 15, 1995
Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995